Secret Lives of Moms: Holiday Traditions

I would like to start by wishing all of my very supportive readers the best Thanksgiving weekend. On the list of things to be thankful for, you are undeniably one that hits it at the top. And I may not even know you! But I do. Every week I am so thankful to have a space to be creative, chat with you, share stories like this series, and generally just feel like I am passing notes in math class with my friends about what outfit we want to wear tomorrow. 

The holidays always bring out the best (and maybe worst ha) in everyone. I love the decorating, the cooking, the general merriment of it all. And because there are so many of us that are possibly starting some of our own traditions with our budding new families, I thought it would be nice to hear some from my mom posse. So this week's question is… 

What holiday tradition do you look forward to most (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Hanukkah, etc) this time of year? 

"My favorite holiday tradition is spending Thanksgiving with my family.  I love spending time with my siblings and seeing them as aunts and uncles (my son is the only grandchild)."

"Every Christmas Eve since I can remember, my mom would bake a two layer red velvet cake with homemade cream cheese frosting and after dinner, we would light birthday candles and sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. 

We are not the most religious family, but I think it really helped us all remember what the holiday was all about... And what kid doesn't love a birthday party?!

We would open a few presents after we had our cake and always prepared a snack for Santa and his reindeer too. I will definitely carry on this tradition in my home with my own kiddos."

"Since our daughter was born we stood firm that we would travel to my parents at Thanksgiving and always stay home for Xmas. Three years ago we started a new tradition of putting the kid down early and cooking a delicious surf and turf for Christmas Eve at home! Then Christmas night we sleep at my in laws so we can party with them and have another delicious meal." 

"Since our first daughter was born, my husband I started the tradition of buying a special ornament for each member of the family every year. Now that our family has expanded to four, it's a special day when we pack up into the car, and drive to a magical Christmas store where they are now old enough to pick up that perfect ornament and bring it home to place it on the Christmas tree. I've had to start putting their names and year on the ornaments though so we remember who's is who!"

"One of my favorite Christmas traditions as a child was getting new pajamas on Christmas Eve. Since getting married, my husband has jumped on board and gifts me a new set each year on Christmas Eve. Since my son came along, he too gets a cute pair of "jommies.""

"Thank the Lord for daughters to pass on our traditions.  One of my favorite memories of my mother is skipping around the family room to the tune, which of course was blaring, "I Believe In Santa Claus"... by no other than Dolly Parton! I miss the days of skipping with my mom, but I know that she's right there with my daughters and me when we show off our dance moves. There will be skipping this holiday season....oh YA!  I hope that you all reading will find your skipping song with your special someone."

"Every year, without much planning to it (since there is a 24 hour marathon on cable) we watch A Christmas Story. It is such a classic and so funny, so even if you just watch pieces of it over a glass of wine or while making cookies you all get a laugh together."

"We always have William Sonoma Mulling Spices on the stove all season long. Makes the house smell amazing! We also set up our miniature ceramic Dickens village the weekend after Thanksgiving. It's mine and has become a tradition for the big kids to set it up. They love the miniature sledding hill and it's so great to see them enjoying it like I did as a kid."

"I am so excited for the holiday season and this year I have found myself in the Christmas spirit much earlier than usual. Being a new mom, I think Christmas will forever change for me! One of my favorites traditions is decorating our tree while listening to Christmas music and sipping on cocktails. I love looking through and hanging our ornaments. There is something so special and fun about filling a tree with ornaments that hold sentimental value and endless memories."

This gets me seriously excited for tomorrow and the upcoming holidays. I hope yours is fantastic. 

xo

Erin 

Secret Lives of Moms: How We Start and End the Day

Every Mom out there starts and ends her day in different ways, different times, and with different rituals. I thought it would be great to hear how some extraordinary moms I know spend those times so I asked… 

"What does the first hour and last hour of a typical day look like in your life?" 

And this is what they said. 

"First: I usually wake to the sounds of my kids stirring around 7:15 in the monitors. I lay in bed, check email, social media, and the news. After a quick brush of my teeth and maybe a comb through my hair. I get bottles ready and slam a cup of tea. 

Last: Usually polishing off my second glass of wine with the husband after binge watching something on Netflix. Sometimes I have the strength for a quick face mask, otherwise it is my usual skin care routine and eyes closed by 10pm." 

"First: I wake up around 7 to my oldest. We get up, I make him breakfast and proceed to pump in anticipation of my youngest waking up. I then feed my youngest. 

Last: I brush my teeth, wash my face, and curl up in bed with my trashy gossip magazines."

"First: I try and get up by 5:15, get myself dressed and ready (or at least presentable enough for school drop off ☺️). Then head out to the kitchen to down a cup of coffee and unload the dishwasher. If I'm lucky I can eat my eggs in peace before the first kid wakes up! 

Last: Finish up a glass of wine and TV show with the hubby.  Then jump in the shower, read a few pages in my book or browse Instagram, and lights out by 9:30!"

"First: Lately, it's been a 5am wake up around here from a screaming baby ready to start the day. The first hour of the day involves feeding her breakfast, letting the dogs out and feeding them and maybe squeezing in a quick potty brake for myself...if I'm lucky. 

Last: Wash my face and brush my teeth around 8:30 and get into bed with the intention to read my book. Instead I usually spend about an hour watching tv and scouring blogs and social media on my phone before passing out."

"First Hour: My life has changed now that my son is sleeping through the night (12-5 is sleeping through the night, right?). So as a new mom, feeling chipper and refreshed at that 5 am "first cry" is an understatement.

Last Hour: My last hour of the day is spent feeding, burbing, changing diapers and giving my husband the evil eye across the room because he is fast asleep. "

"First: People think I'm crazy because I wake up super early to workout and get my day started. What they don't realize is I wake up, and for at least that first 45 minutes of the day, I do nothing but sip my coffee, read my emails, and answer to no one but myself. It's my "me" time.  

Last hour of my day usually involves me collecting random escapees from their bedrooms and putting them back to bed, followed by laying down, and reading myself to sleep."

"First: Alarm at 6:05... Snooze... 6:15 check FB in bed...give loud annoying cat treats. Shower... Do hair, get dressed. Open child's door. Tell hubby to get up. Attempt to Do makeup. Tell hubby to get up. Tell kid to wake up with sweet kisses. Tell hubby to get up! Make coffee. Finally do make up at 6:40 :) Hubby gets up kid on potty, teeth brushed, dressed. I do kids hair. Put my lunch and kids snack together. Make travel coffee mug! Scramble to leave by 7:05-7:10 DONE!! That was exhausting. 

Last: Fall asleep on couch...@9 bitch to get off couch @10 . Brush teeth. I have learned to wash my face immediately when arriving home from school because I don't have the energy at night!!  pass out."

"First hour is me crawling out of bed anywhere from 6:15 to 6:45.  Make the bed, brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed.  Warm baby's bottle, then toddler's.  Depending on which one is up first, make their bed, get them dressed then get the other.  We then have our morning bottles on the couch watching Wild Kratts or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Then I start making their breakfast, however I try to sneak in "mommy's yucky coffee" at some point.

The last hour is picking out what I will wear in the morning, brushing my teeth, washing my face, changing into my PJ's and hoping in bed to watch Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives or something we have already DVRed. "

"First hour:  Wake up between 6:30-7am. Get dressed. Try to do something with my hair and a little makeup if I am not working out that day. Downstairs by 7. Make coffee and lunches. Hubby takes care of breakfast prep for kids. 1/2 hour of TV for kids, then they dress, brush teeth and do hair. Socks and shoes on, backpacks loaded, and out the door at 7:55 for school drop offs.

Last hour:  9:30 or 10pm. Brush teeth. Face regimen. Watch news or Friends." 

"First: My 9 year old is our alarm clock. Soon after he visits us I get up and run for the coffee pot so I can have some before the baby wakes up. School days I make two lunches and three breakfasts and throw on whatever I can grab first to wear for drop off. Baby usually stays in Jammie's and we hit school looking like mommy and baby Frankenstein. Weekends I cuddle with our baby in the bed as long as we can. 

Last: Laying in the couch with my husband watching a show and periodically telling our daughter to get back in bed. She's our night owl. We make an effort to spend time the two of us but usually I end up asleep 5 min into the show."

"First: I wake up around 6:30 and can hear my husband and son downstairs.  I lay in bed barely moving until they come upstairs soon after.  My son and I lay in bed with cartoons on the tv while my husband showers and gets ready for work.  I'm lucky that most mornings my husband wakes up with my son.  If my husband is surfing or out of town than I'm woken by my son around 6:15 in which case I promptly bring him back to bed with me.  He watches cartoons for about 30min while I lay like a dead body until we get up and shower.

Last: I'm normally on the couch for the last hour of the day (8:45-9:45ish) watching TV until I go upstairs and brush my teeth and put on PJ's. I try and be lights out by 10pm. "

"First: I haven't slept very well this pregnancy, so sometimes I wake up when I hear my toddler stirring in her crib (around 7am), but often I'm up when my husband gets up (always by 6am) and catching up on email and social media updates from bed until it's time to get the little one.  Once we're both out of bed, I always grab her a cup of milk and let her watch a show on Sprout while I get myself a cup of coffee and then the day really gets rolling by 7:45.
Last: Usually on the couch catching up on some previously recorded show until one of us (myself or the hubby) starts nodding off and the other makes the call to head up to bed (always by 10pm). Brush teeth, wash face, try to slop on eye cream and or a quick exfoliating treatment, then moisturizer, and take prenatals (ugh). Proceed to pass out until I have to get up to pee (twice a night😢)

Now that I've written this down, I actually feel like I need a morning and evening activity makeover... But with #2 coming in a few weeks, I'll probably just stick to the basic survival techniques. Que sera"

What does the first hour and last hour of your day look like? Would love to hear it! 

xo

Erin 

Secret Lives of Moms: Change of Opinion

Things can add up pretty quickly in our lives. Moms or not. You tell yourself that you won't get so stressed or frustrated or fed up or all of the above that you will change the way you promised yourself you would parent. But, oops there it is. We all believed that we would not do those things we always judged others for doing (other mothers or our own. ha) and then we went ahead and did it, and life went on and our kids are turning out pretty great. 

This week I asked Moms: 

What thing do you do now that you swore you never would when it comes to parenting? 

"There was no way that I would let my kids eat or drink more than water in the car. Those sticky, crumby cars always grossed me out as a kid. But alas, after the first whines from the back I am handing out crackers and lollipops like Santa. Bottom line, sometimes a drive in the car is the only peace I get while sitting down in the day." 

"I am guilty of saying those things I swore I never would. Like, "If you won't brush your hair, maybe we should just cut it all off."  I might now say this once a week, at least, to my daughter!  My girls are, of course, just as picky in regards to eating as I use to be.  I say to them, "Don't say 'I don't like it' say 'I don't care for it'!" My parents always said that one day I would have a kiddo that would do just the same annoying things that I did to them...they were right.  My husband is in SHOCK that he now is living with 2 of me. "

"I swore that I would never put my kid on one of those kid leashes! But with the second one on the way, I'm seriously contemplating it."

"Talk about peeing and pooping like it is a perfectly normal topic of conversation."

"Coming from a family of all girls, I swore my children would never wear hand me downs.  They would always wear brand new spanking clothing. Two children later realizing that children grow like weeds, and some outfits don't even get worn, I'm saving everything for the future third child. It's new to them!"

"I was never going to let my kids watch or play with our iPhones/tablets while eating out at a restaurant. They need to learn to sit through a meal, right?!? But after all else fails and I'm trying to enjoy a nice meal and glass of wine, I'll do anything to keep the peace. Gotta love the Disney Jr. App!"

"As I grew up and would think about how I wanted to be a mother, I told myself I would never let my kids watch TV. However, as the first one came and then the next I have found myself using TV to help distract the oldest to actually accomplish tasks with my younger one. Whether it be nurse the younger one or change a diaper. My hope is that

 TV keeps the oldest distracted enough to not break, tear, or flush something down the toilet when I am unable to watch."

"I swore I'd never breast feed this long. She's 10 months and I'm still doing it. It's hard to just stop and since I've come this far I might as well keep going. I don't want to start dealing with formula now even if it is for just 2 months. I also said I'd never have baby crap all over the common areas in the house. Yeah right. Like I'm going to put everything away in the baby's room every time. That would be even more exhausting :)"

" Saying "bc I said so!" I've found myself saying this all of  a sudden over the past few weeks my toddler literally says "why?" 15 times minimum after everything I say... Usually I'm patient for the first say 10  but by 15 I'm like just "because I said so" and he usually replies with "oh, ok"

"Giving in to the whining when at the store. I swore I'd never be the mom that tries to buy her Child's silence by giving in to whines and screams for cookies! Lollypops and ice-cream while grocery shopping. Pretty much always end up grabbing a box of junk and handing it over so I can get my shopping done! Eek!"

"I was going to be a mom whose baby adapted to my schedule and not vice versa.  YEAH RIGHT!  My life revolves around my son's nap time.  Period."

""Let the baby cry it out" Swore I'd do it... never did! Got up every time."

"Wipe baby snot on my clothes!! Now its toddler snot and I still do it!"

"When my son was born, I swore I would make all of his food from scratch.  I would say to people, why make boxed macaroni and cheese when making it from scratch is just as easily.  Fast forward two years to this past weekend, I fed him hot dogs two days in a row. At least they were organic."

What is your answer? Would love to hear. 

xo

Erin 

Secret Lives of Moms: What You Miss

I am glad that you all are loving this new series. It is so fun to collect the answers and see what everyone has to say. 

This week I asked, 

Besides sleep, what do you miss most about life before kids? 

Here is what some Moms had to say…

"Going to movies, reading the paper on weekend mornings, and not having to share my plate of food...no matter what is on her plate, she always wants mine."

"I miss completing a task the same day I start one. Before kids, I knew myself to be extremely task oriented. I'd work on something all day and all night if I had to in order to get it done right away. Now I feel like I have a hundred projects around my house/life incomplete and it drives me nuts! I also miss my communicative freedom. I don't know what it is but having to spell out the f word when it is the expletive most necessary just doesn't have the same impact point-wise. And having to tip toe around a story and use fake names and codes for certain people and behaviors so that two certain somebodies won't repeat the story at an inopportune time just takes the wind out of my storytelling sails… "

"Evening walks with my husband,  going a full day without having to check on anyone, and I miss the days when I didn't have to plan what I was going to do the next day."

"Sleeping in.  My son doesn't care if it's a Monday or a Saturday we are up at 6:30am. Also coming and going freely.  Even now when I have a sitter for a few hours or get to go away for the weekend there's a ton of prep that goes into it- prepping meals, writing out a schedule, making sure the sitter knows the house alarm code or remembers to turn on my son's sound machine during nap time so he gets a good nap.  Tons of little things to remember."

"I miss going to the store without a dependent entourage. Without a diaper bag, without thinking of who I'll pull out of the car first based on who's more liable to run while I'm busy pulling out the other kid, without the inevitable battle that comes with clicking independent little ones into their car seats. I miss just getting up and going!"

"Not having to pay a babysitter when I want to go out on a date."

"I miss the relaxing evenings, making dinner at a slow pace with no specific dietary requests or specific time to eat by. Making dinner together listening to music. Ah the good old days... Now it's more like me sweating in the kitchen and yelling at everyone to come sit when it's ready usually with wine in hand to make it through without crying."

"I miss being able to leave the house without packing...snacks, drinks, diapers, extra clothes, wipes, toys, band aids and on and on."

"​POWER LUNCHES…I took them for granted.  Now that we have a wee one, I can't remember the last time I had an hour for lunch to myself!​"  

"Being able to sleep in! Even when my hubby offers to get up .... I still wake up! It is so frustrating. And Friday happy hours that last till midnight."

"I miss having absolutely nothing to do on the weekends. Would love to enjoy a cup of coffee and read magazines on a Saturday morning, go shopping with no distractions, or spend a Sunday afternoon watching lifetime movies on the couch."

"Spontaneity. Being able to do anything (travel, workout, date night) without having to pump, plan around naps and bedtime, or persuading my parents to babysit. Also, the ability to start and finish a project without any interruptions.  And mostly, my mind."

"Running mindless, unnecessary "errands" - like going to Anthropologie 3 times in one week. I also miss binge watching a TV show for an entire day. And having no plans on a Saturday, which turns into a neighborhood bar crawl. Just because."

I could not agree more about all of these answers. Clearly, everyone really misses their freedom and ability to live their life on their own terms. We gave that up in the delivery room, ladies. But it was nice while it lasted. 

What about you? What do you miss most?

See the first post on nap time if you missed it. 

xo

Erin